Kids can drive you to your wit’s end. Despite your best parenting efforts, you can’t seem to eliminate the destructive things they do. And this prevents you from having what you really want: healthy kids and a strong relationship with them.
But there’s one idea I’d like to share with you that could revolutionize the way you raise your kids.
ALL behaviour is an attempt at meeting a need.
Kids misbehave because they are trying out different ways of meeting their needs. Through this process of trial-and-error, they’re bound to get it wrong at some point. The solution to misbehaviour is simple: find the need they’re attempting to meet and give them an alternative way of meeting it.
Five common needs are:
Attention
Competence
Power
Control
Stimulation
“You don’t need to yell at me; you can just ask for my attention”
“Try putting your socks on one more time, then I will help you”
“Show me how you throw a ball instead of my glass of water”
“You can choose which vegetable you’d like to have with dinner tonight”
“I think it’s time to go outside!”
As this process is repeated, your kids will learn what they can do when these needs come up.
By now you might be thinking “Right, but you don’t know MY kid”. And that’s a completely understandable response.
This is why seeking professional help can be a major benefit.
As a Registered Psychotherapist, I help parents understand themselves and understand their kids. I’ve worked with many difficult situations just like yours, and I would love to help you discover how you can address your kids’ misbehaviour more effectively. Click here to schedule a time for us to talk more about my services and how I can help you.
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