Build The Relationship You Want With Your Child

As our kids grow up, they can take on behaviours and characteristics that really bother us. If we aren’t careful, our relationships with our kids will eventually be characterized by arguments, fighting, resentment, power struggles, and more. Aside from being an unpleasant experience, there’s one key reason to seek positive relationships with your kids:

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗾𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗸𝗶𝗱𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝗺𝗮𝗷𝗼𝗿 𝗱𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴-𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗺 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴.

Here’s three key ideas to help you build a dynamic relationship with your kids:

Work hard to comprehend before you correct

Kids can come up with some ideas that cause a knee-jerk reaction in us to engage in a power struggle. Unfortunately, this usually makes them dig their heels in further. But if you can address the root concern behind the behaviour, then you’ll have a much easier time working towards an appropriate solution. This way you minimize conflict while correcting the problem. Next time, validate and understand their concerns BEFORE taking action.

Recognize what’s in your control

Our reasons for intervening often have more to do with our need for control than to promote our kids’ wellbeing. It shouldn’t surprise us that our kids resist when we attempt to limit their control. A good rule of thumb is to avoid setting expectations you can’t enforce. This keeps you concentrated on what really 𝘪𝘴 in your control. For everything else, you’re there to provide advice, listen, and validate as your child needs.

Address your personal concerns

Are your parenting decisions motivated by your anxiety or by your child’s wellbeing? This can be an especially difficult question to answer because it’s so personal. It’s unpleasant acknowledging we contribute to the problem. Yet this is a major step to improving your relationship with your kids. Addressing your personal stressors puts you in a position where you can be the parent your kids need.

This is where professional support from a therapist is incredibly valuable. When I see clients, their eyes often light up as they make new connections about their lives. I’m in this business to help you know yourself and know your child. If you’d like to begin the process in either area, feel free to contact me and learn more about how I can help you.