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Build The Relationship You Want With Your Child

As our kids grow up, they can take on behaviours and characteristics that really bother us. If we arenโ€™t careful, our relationships with our kids will eventually be characterized by arguments, fighting, resentment, power struggles, and more. Aside from being an unpleasant experience, thereโ€™s one key reason to seek positive relationships with your kids:

๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—พ๐˜‚๐—ฎ๐—น๐—ถ๐˜๐˜† ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ฝ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ธ๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐—ท๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—บ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ถ๐—ฟ ๐—น๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ด-๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—บ ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—น๐—น๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด.

Hereโ€™s three key ideas to help you build a dynamic relationship with your kids:

Work hard to comprehend before you correct

Kids can come up with some ideas that cause a knee-jerk reaction in us to engage in a power struggle. Unfortunately, this usually makes them dig their heels in further. But if you can address the root concern behind the behaviour, then youโ€™ll have a much easier time working towards an appropriate solution. This way you minimize conflict while correcting the problem. Next time, validate and understand their concerns BEFORE taking action.

Recognize whatโ€™s in your control

Our reasons for intervening often have more to do with our need for control than to promote our kidsโ€™ wellbeing. It shouldnโ€™t surprise us that our kids resist when we attempt to limit their control. A good rule of thumb is to avoid setting expectations you canโ€™t enforce. This keeps you concentrated on what really ๐˜ช๐˜ด in your control. For everything else, youโ€™re there to provide advice, listen, and validate as your child needs.

Address your personal concerns

Are your parenting decisions motivated by your anxiety or by your childโ€™s wellbeing? This can be an especially difficult question to answer because itโ€™s so personal. Itโ€™s unpleasant acknowledging we contribute to the problem. Yet this is a major step to improving your relationship with your kids. Addressing your personal stressors puts you in a position where you can be the parent your kids need.

This is where professional support from a therapist is incredibly valuable. When I see clients, their eyes often light up as they make new connections about their lives. Iโ€™m in this business to help you know yourself and know your child. If youโ€™d like to begin the process in either area, feel free to contact me and learn more about how I can help you.

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