
As our kids grow up, they can take on behaviours and characteristics that really bother us. If we arenโt careful, our relationships with our kids will eventually be characterized by arguments, fighting, resentment, power struggles, and more. Aside from being an unpleasant experience, thereโs one key reason to seek positive relationships with your kids:
๐ง๐ต๐ฒ ๐พ๐๐ฎ๐น๐ถ๐๐ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐น๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป๐๐ต๐ถ๐ฝ ๐๐ถ๐๐ต ๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฑ๐ ๐ถ๐ ๐ฎ ๐บ๐ฎ๐ท๐ผ๐ฟ ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐บ๐ถ๐ป๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ณ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐๐ผ๐ฟ ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฟ ๐น๐ผ๐ป๐ด-๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐บ ๐๐ฒ๐น๐น๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ป๐ด.
Hereโs three key ideas to help you build a dynamic relationship with your kids:
Work hard to comprehend before you correct
Kids can come up with some ideas that cause a knee-jerk reaction in us to engage in a power struggle. Unfortunately, this usually makes them dig their heels in further. But if you can address the root concern behind the behaviour, then youโll have a much easier time working towards an appropriate solution. This way you minimize conflict while correcting the problem. Next time, validate and understand their concerns BEFORE taking action.
Recognize whatโs in your control
Our reasons for intervening often have more to do with our need for control than to promote our kidsโ wellbeing. It shouldnโt surprise us that our kids resist when we attempt to limit their control. A good rule of thumb is to avoid setting expectations you canโt enforce. This keeps you concentrated on what really ๐ช๐ด in your control. For everything else, youโre there to provide advice, listen, and validate as your child needs.
Address your personal concerns
Are your parenting decisions motivated by your anxiety or by your childโs wellbeing? This can be an especially difficult question to answer because itโs so personal. Itโs unpleasant acknowledging we contribute to the problem. Yet this is a major step to improving your relationship with your kids. Addressing your personal stressors puts you in a position where you can be the parent your kids need.
This is where professional support from a therapist is incredibly valuable. When I see clients, their eyes often light up as they make new connections about their lives. Iโm in this business to help you know yourself and know your child. If youโd like to begin the process in either area, feel free to contact me and learn more about how I can help you.
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